Solitude is Bliss

It's ten o'clock Friday evening. I'm sitting at the train station and what at first seemed like a light sprinkling of moisture from the heavens above has now transformed into a steady downpour. 11 minutes till the next train. Not a soul in sight, and the fact that I'm not even bothered that I have to wait here for the train makes me realise that a great change has taken place.
It could be just one glass too many of red or it could be the fact that I'm not hunched over my computer agonizing over flash, but I feel so damn content. Don't get me wrong, in the back of my head there is a huge storm of stress brewing about my uni work but for now, I'm sitting here by myself and happy to be doing just that. This is coming from a girl who, for as long as I've known, has become distraught with loneliness after just 5 minutes of solitude.
I'm not sure how gradual the change has been, but tonight is the first time I've really noticed and appreciated how beautiful it is to be on your own. In the past I've found myself on the phone trying to summon anyone I can to pass the time with, even if I have things that need to be done I've felt that they'd be better done with someone by my side. But now, thinking about it, the last little while has seen me welcoming the infrequent bursts of time spent along and relishing there time where I can sit alone and think, or not think, and breathe and stare into space and not worry about anything or anyone in the world apart from me. What made me start thinking about this was walking through the empty streets to the station and imagining the possibility of walking forever and not bumping into a single soul. Complete silence, and usually this though would send shivers down my spine, have me purposefully seeking out a route where I was bound to encounter human life, a car headlight at least. But tonight, the beauty of that thought overwhelmed me an now I'm so happy, so proud, that after over 4 years of relying on others to make me feel whole, give me comfort, and prevent me from loneliness, I can now tackle it on my own. To quote an overzealous personal trainer I once saw on a cheesy workout video... It's a beautiful thing!

El Escuro Me-Mantine